{"id":804,"date":"2005-04-08T07:16:19","date_gmt":"2005-04-08T14:16:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kattywilly.com\/blog\/?p=804"},"modified":"2005-04-08T07:16:19","modified_gmt":"2005-04-08T14:16:19","slug":"calendars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/?p=804","title":{"rendered":"Calendars"},"content":{"rendered":"

On the third anniversary<\/a>
\nof Cindy’s death Julie<\/a> and I were talking about how such great loss
\naffects our calendars.  Cindy died in the spring of 2002.  I
\nhave found that in the months before the anniversary date I begin to
\nfeel down.  I usually don’t figure out why until a few weeks
\nbefore that date.<\/p>\n

I was thinking this year about how our wedding anniversary was always
\none of our most emotional holidays.  It made me think, and Julie
\nreminded me of how our calendars change.  The anniversary that now
\nseems to hold the most emotional power is the anniversary of the day
\nshe died.  We suffered a sudden, traumatic and violent loss. 
\nI was struggling to take care of my daughters who were injured in the
\naccident while also dealing with the sudden loss.  It is not a
\ntime that I want to remember.  It is the most horrific day in my
\nlife.  I wonder if it is different for those who have lost their
\nloved one after a long illness.  Do the circumstances of the loss
\nchange the way people feel about that date?<\/p>\n

Our wedding anniversary is now a day just like any other on the
\ncalendar.  It falls around Father’s Day so I spend the time trying
\nto figure out what I should do to help the girls do something for me.<\/p>\n

One of the hardest holidays for me to deal with has been
\nChristmas.  Christmas was Cindy’s favorite time of year.  She
\nhas so many decorations and loved to shop for new things every year
\nduring the after Christmas sales.  We would have a neighborhood
\nChristmas party at our house with food, friends and caroling.  The
\nfirst two years I tried my best to keep everything the same.  Or
\nas normal as I possible could.  It was very hard, emotionally and
\nphysically.  There’s just me know and there aren’t enough hours in
\nthe day sometimes.  I think that is one of the reasons I was
\nlooking forward to, and dreading out trip to Europe this past
\nChristmas.  Cindy and I wanted to go back to Czech with our
\nfriends and wanted the girls to go with us.  I was excited for the
\nopportunity to celebrate the holidays with our friends and family and
\nto experience the Czech holiday traditions.  I was also terrified
\nby the thought that I was doing a terrible thing by changing one of the
\nconstants in our lives, Christmas.<\/p>\n

It ended up being both an exciting and amazing time spent with friends
\nand family experiencing new and old traditions, as well as a time to
\nremember the Christmas’ we had and miss so desperately.  So my
\nchallenge, along with all the other challenges of being a single parent
\nof two teen girls, is to try and figure out a way to turn these days
\nthat bring such sorrow into days that we can celebrate again. 
\nFind a way to turn out thoughts of sadness and loss into happy
\nmemories.  I think that some time may have to pass to allow the
\nsadness to fade and the happy memories to fight their way back into our hearts, minds and calendars.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On the third anniversary of Cindy’s death Julie and I were talking about how such great loss affects our calendars.  Cindy died in the spring of 2002.  I have found that in the months before the anniversary date I begin … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/804\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.kattywilly.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}