At the New Years party this year I said something that sounded stupid or
\nperhaps even insulting. Someone was talking about something that that
\none of their kids had done that resulted in some sort of punishment. It
\nmade me think about the girls and our experiences over the past almost 4
\nyears that we have been living without Cindy.<\/p>\n
Since Cindy died I’ve been criticized for some of the decisions that the
\ngirls and I have made. I say “the girls and I” because for the
\ndecisions that affect their lives directly I try to let them be part of
\nthe decision making process. Things like choosing the style of clothes,
\nhaircuts and makeup all the way up to choosing which High School to
\nattend. I’m sure some of that is because I have a hard time making
\nchoices. I always fear making the “wrong” choice so much that I can
\nbecome static and not make a choice at all.<\/p>\n
As I was listening to the discussion about some digression by one of the
\nother kids I was feeling thankful that the girls have been so for lack
\nof a better term, well behaved. It’s not that they are perfect kids.
\nTheir rooms get to be a mess, they can sometimes leave the house a mess,
\nfor a variety of reasons they make me crazy at times, but all in all
\nthey seem to always try to do the right thing. As those thoughts were
\nrolling around in my head I inserted a thought into the conversation.
\n“I’m so glad that I haven’t had any discipline problems with the girls,
\nit must be that Cindy did a good job raising them.” Or something to
\nthat affect. I think I intended it as a somewhat self deprecating
\ncomment in that I didn’t think that there was any skill involved on my
\npart in affecting the way the girls behave. More that they had somehow
\nlearned early on, during the time when Cindy was home with them, values
\nthat have guided them and formed the behavior and personalities that
\nthey have today.<\/p>\n
What came out I think sounded to the moms I was talking with more like,<\/p>\n
I’m sure glad my kids were raised better than yours.<\/p>\n
Even more evidence that my deprecating comment was deserved, I am an
\nidiot at times. Here I was thinking about how to praise Cindy and her
\nmemory (or at least my fading memories of her), and instead end up
\ninsulting the moms that I have relied upon for so much help these past
\nyears raising the girls.<\/p>\n
To the moms I’ve insulted,<\/a> I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to At the New Years party this year I said something that sounded stupid or perhaps even insulting. Someone was talking about something that that one of their kids had done that resulted in some sort of punishment. It made me … Continue reading
\nhave
\nthose thought come out the way they did. I’m not sure there was a good
\nway to express my feelings in that situation and I think I’ve learned
\nthat in some situations I probably need to spend more time with my mouth
\nshut than with it open.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"