KattyWilly

This is one of the strange paradoxes I’ve expierenced in the grieving process.  I’ve learned that the things that I so wanted to last forever don’t, but at the same time they do.  It is this conflict that makes going forward so difficult.  You have to acknowledge that she’s gone before you can live life again but you can’t let go.

If what they say is
‘nothing is forever,’
Then what makes
(What makes? What makes?)
Love the exception?

“Hey Ya”
Outkast

Things are really getting wierd if I find the lyrics of Outkast insightful, oh and by the way, why did I just now realize that the Outkast video for “Hey Ya” has a casket in the center of the stage as if the scene is a funeral?

Previously hope in my life was a different emotion.  It wasn’t hope of making it through this day to the next, it was hope for things to come.  I sometimes wonder if the magnitude of the expierience that we have been through will change our lives so fundamentally that this will be our existence forever, or over time will things slowly return to something like before.

My brother in law and my sister worked on the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO) project.  I finally found something that explains some of the theory behind this search for gravity waves as predicted by Einstein.  “Albert Einstein predicted the existence of these gravitational waves in his 1916 general theory of relativity, but only now in the 21st Century has technology advanced to enable their detection and study by science.”  The series is actually about the unified theory and string theory but there are some descriptions that even a mere mortal like me could understand.

Not so sure that this new PC is exactly working correctly.  It keeps going into standby mode and when it starts back up there are messages about low batteries and plug in to AC before I lose data.  That and it is going nuts trying to enough allocate virtual memory.  I may end up having to re-install Windows to get things running smoothly again. 

I ordered a bunch of new cheeses from Carr Valley Cheese. I made the mistake of calling after I got home from work and before I ate anything.  I asked for recommendations and everything sounded so good.  I can’t remember exactly what I ordered, but I did get some aged cheddar, cave aged Marisa (named for the 15 year old daughter of the cheese maker) and some Virgin Pine Native Blue, oh and some sort of hickory nut cheese.  I can still remember the hickory nuts that we got from the trees at the house in Deerfield, as well as Cindy’s grandmother’s hickory nut cookies at Christmas time.  I’m having the cheese sent to Uncle Larry’s house so it will have a shorter trip and hopefully stay cooler. 

Just got back from the Catch 22 concert at the State Theater in St. Pete.  It was a good show with opening acts Chubby Tuff, Boys Night Out and Worthless United.  With the digital camera out of action you’ll have to wait and see if any of the photos came out.  I bought a cheap flash to put on my old manual Minolta, and I haven’t used a flash on my manual camera for a very long time.  We’ll have to see if any of the pictures are properly exposed, and if they are whether I was anywhere close to focusing in the darkness of the theater.  We had a good time and I was able to listen to the hockey game on the radio between sets.  Lightning 5 Caps 2.

This morning at the rink I was reading an article in the St. Pete Times about the diaries of Rev. Richard McSorley and specifically those regarding his conversations with Jackie Kennedy.  Most of the article was related to the privacy issues, but there was also some comments that seemed to imply that the Kennedys were upset that some of the things Jackie felt and said to McSorely had been made public.  I wasn’t surprised by any of the quotes that were printed in the paper.  Everything she was quoted as saying to McSorley were things that I have thought and been through.  I was doing pretty good reading the article until the end and these quotes from her recounts of the day when JFK was shot.

“If I only had a minute to say goodbye.  It was so hard not to say goodbye, not to be able to say goodbye.”

Halley posts an item about a Dean event at David’s house.  Sounds to me like the equivalent of a political House Concert much like the kind of thing I wish I had a house big enough to host.  My daughter is going to join in with her boyfriend’s band for a show next weekend at a local park band shell.  Hmmm…  I wonder if I could arrange a house concert outdoors in the park?  I will have to look into that.

I must have done something to anger the hardware technology gods.  I got to work this morning and noticed that the mode switch on my old Toshiba camera is about to fall off again.  This happens regularly on this model of the Toshiba.  The last time I spent about $40.00 for the part and about 3 hours of the most excrutiating pain during the disassembly and reassembling of the camera.  I don’t think I can go through that again and actually hope that the thing will work when I get finished.  I was amazed that the thing worked the last time I fixed it.  I may have to go analog for a while and maybe try to get something around Christmas time.  The property tax bill just came so the budget doesn’t have room for a new digicam at the moment.

Or I could look into one of the new ‘disposable’ Ritz digital cameras 🙂
via Slashdot

I bought some new computer pieces and was able to combine them with the working bits from my old PC and now have what seems to be a working computer.  I started with a backup from a couple of days ago, so I’m a little behind on the weblog, and email.