It’s hard to be here at work today, with the girls out of school for Winter Break. I’m only working a half day today so I’ll be home with them soon.
I’ve talked before about the overwhelming all consuming responsibility of raising children, and doing it now as a single parent, sometimes it’s hard to describe the helplessness I feel. There used to always be the knowledge that there was someone else sharing the task of worrying about the girls. You could relax in knowing they were always “safe”, if anything happened one of us was always there. When big tragedy occurs you tend to go into a protection mode, and get the family together, go to a safe place. Know where we all are and that we are safe. We did that during 9/11. Cindy was at the school with the girls. Helping out the other families that came to pick up their children from school. It was hard being at work that day, but I felt relieved in that I knew where the girls were, and they were “safe” with Cindy.
There are so many times now when I know where they are, and I feel confident that the people they are with will take care of them, but it’s still hard to not be there with them.