There is a daily realization that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to do this all on my own. I can’t get both kids to their schools on my own, I can’t be there to pick them up after school and still work full time. I can’t get them to their skating lessons and their music lessons. There is a constant reminder that there is so much I can’t do on my own.
And there is the constant reminder of why I’m in this position. I’ve said it before, the thing that hurts more than anything else is the thought of what the girls have lost and will lose. I want so badly to be able to give them everything I can, and sometimes it seems like it’s too hard to try and give them all the things I want to give them.
I want to take them to school, I want to pick them up after school, I want to take them to the after school activities, I want to take them to the beach during the summer.