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It’s hard sometimes to figure out what is worse so much emotion that you feel worn down by it, or a total lack of any emotion, a numbness. There are times when the loss and sadness are so strong that your sense of emotion for everything is enhanced. It’s almost like turning up the brightness and contrast on the TV and all the colors are bright and electric. And then there are other times when the brightness and contrast are turned way down and everything becomes so muted and gray.