Dave is talking about weblog posts and says “Sometimes
anticipation is better than knowing”. Then he goes
on to post about feeling young inside but looking
our age on the outside
.
These are two things I think about regularly. The first has to do with
my anticipation that someday I will meet someone that I will want to
spend the rest of my life with. I really think that I do better as a
couple. I don’t mind being single, but it is painfully lonely
sometimes. And I was never very good at meeting girls and I’m no better
at it today. So for now I live with the anticipation. The dream that
someday I will meet an attractive woman like the ones I see at the store
or at the mall or movie theater holding hands with their husband.
The second part has to do with the fact that I still feel like an 18
year old inside. Especially when it comes to girls. I get terrified
when I think about meeting someone new that I don’t know. I’m not quite
agoraphobic but I am very uncomfortable going out by myself. I’m so
thankful that my daughters still provide me the opportunity to go out
with them. It won’t be long before I won’t have that opportunity any
more. Somehow the old guy I see in my mirror scares the hell out of the
19 year old on the inside. There is no way he is going to be able to
find that special someone that I remember Cindy being when we met in our
early 20’s. Back then it didn’t feel like I was that different on the
outside than I was on the inside.