Mistakes

Heaven help me, I have a combined eight teens in the house tonight, two
high schoolers and six middle schoolers, with a breakdown of 5 girls to
three boys, YIKES!

I am a very protective, well probably over protective parent.  I was
always trying to protect the girls from getting hurt as kids.  Cindy
would have to make me go away and let them play otherwise I would force
them to sit quietly and not do anything “dangerous” that might get them
hurt.  We had plastic outlet covers on every outlet, and door locks on
every cabinet.  It was terrible trying to teach them to ride a bike, I
was terrified they might fall and get hurt, and cry.  My natural
instincts were too strong.  If it were up to me the girls would have
spent all their days quietly sitting in a softly padded room with no
sharp corners. 

I eventually was able to let the girls go out and have fun, doing
dangerous things like playing on the swing set, and riding their bikes
without training wheels.  But to do that I had to turn off my natural
protective (or over protective) instincts.  And that is my problem.  I
have a hard time dealing with trying to protect the girls and at the
same time allow them to make mistakes and potentially hurt themselves.

So I sit here carefully listening to the conversations, well it’s not
really conversation, it’s more a cacophony of raised voices, currently
all screaming in unison.  I figure as long as everyone is yelling at
each other nothing “bad” is happening.

And as I listen to the awkwardness of these young teens as they try to
figure out how to act around teens of the opposite sex, I realize my
own feelings of awkwardness as I try to figure out how to act as a
single 40 something person after 20 some years as part of a couple.

Perhaps I’m overly protective of myself.  Too afraid that I may hurt
myself, or at the least afraid that I may act in a way that may
embarrass me.  That I will make a mistake.

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