The Redhead points me to Julie talking about “What a kiss can say“. I remember every one of those kisses. I miss every one of those kisses.
She says “Physical affection though is perhaps more powerful for its nuances. Who can put into words what a touch says?” Physical affection is one of the many things that is lost. You can’t imagine how hard that one little loss is to deal with. Sleeping with a pillow clutched to your chest, just doesn’t replace feeling her next to me. We take for granted how important, meaningful and comforting it is to have physical contact. My widowed friends call it Skin Hunger. It’s hard to comprehend feeling this same hunger 6 years from now. It’s more than hunger though sometimes, it’s more like craving, starving, a uncomfortable stab of sharp pain.
Then there is the kiss that is the last kiss you will ever get, even though you didn’t know that it would be the last at the time. That’s one of the hard parts the suddenness of the loss. One morning you get up take your shower, and as you get out to let her take her shower, you give her that big morning hug as you do every day not knowing it’s the last. And then, the next morning there is no hug. And the morning after that, there is no hug, and the morning after that……..
And the hunger sets in, and grows.