Julie is talking about home schooling and says this:
“When I was a girl, my mother cautioned me You become like the person you
marry. I think that the truth behind this observation is that people conform
to the people around them. It’s not necessarily something intentional. But human
beings by nature are like sponges, subconsciously soaking up the influence of
others.”
Which reminds me of one of the things I have recognized during my
grieving process. The loss of identity. I have no doubt
that I became like Cindy in the 24 years we were together. I also
know that after her death I lost part of my identity. I was
surprised at how much of “who I am” was derived from what she thought
of me, and the things I felt about her. Part of what made me who
I was, were the things I/we did that she enjoyed, tolerated and
disliked. It is the daily process of becoming like another
person. When that suddenly stops there are questions as to the
things you do that are enjoyed, tolerated or disliked. It is
another loss, one of the ones that isn’t immediately recognized and is
difficult to adjust to.
Julie also sends me off to find some new music. http://www.christinedente.com/