KattyWilly

That’s it!  I’m just too nice
🙂  Maybe I can find a dating co-pilot to teach me this
stuff.  “Class instructor Robert Tharp says the average bad boy
student is in his mid-20s” I’m way too old already.

I’m trying to watch a show about Diana’s son Harry.
As sad as the stories about the orphans he was visiting in Africa were,
I wasn’t able to watch after they showed old footage of his
mother. It was too close.

There Is Nothing Wrong in This Whole Wide World
A wonderful thought and a wonderful idea at the Adobe Bookstore.

Lindsey turns me on to such cool music.  This morning I’m
listening to the Colin Hay song “I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over
You” from the Garden State Soundtrack.

“Your face it dances and it haunts me

Your laughter’s still ringing in my ears

I still find pieces of your presence here

Even after all these years

But I don’t want you thinking I don’t get asked to dinner

‘Cause I’m here to say that I sometimes do

Even though I may soon feel the touch of love

I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you

If I lived till I was 102

I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you”

Tonight I was listening to a story about a family with three young children
whose mother, father and stepfather are all being deployed in Iraq and
Afghanistan.  The children will be at home being raised by their
grandmother.  It was a heart wrenching story for me to listen
to.  I got to a point where they had closed the door to the room
where they were doing the interviewing in and the youngest girl
literally cries out in terror because she can’t see her mother for a
moment.  The fear in her voice shook me to my core.  As I
raise my daughters without a mother, I think about these children who
for at least some indeterminate time will be raised with no parents.

“There are moments in time that are meant to be held
Like fragile, breakable things
There are others that pass us, you can’t even tell
Such is their grace and their speed
And this one is gone in the blink of an eye
You can ask me the truth but tonight I will lie
Unflinching I’ll tell you that I’m alone but not lonely”

Mary Chapin Carpenter

“Alone But Not Lonely“

“…he determined that the bright and happy children had only one thing in
common: All of them spent noticeable amounts of time staring peacefully
and wordlessly into space.”

I really hope this
works for adults too. Sometimes I think my job description
includes ‘staring peacefully and wordlessly into space’ I have been
practicing for years 🙂

Actually some of my most relaxing moments come out on the front patio,
sitting quietly and still so that all the neighboring wildlife comes by
for a visit. As part of that I stare into the upper reaches of
the oaks out front trying to locate the small birds that like to light
up there. Am I brilliant, I sense that at those times, I
sometimes feel happy.

“For every heart there’s a moment
For every hand, a glove

And for every woman,
a man to love

Where is she,
where is the one for me?”

For Every Man There’s A Woman

Dave Pollard says things that I can sense but not put into words. Here he is talking about Surviving Trauma.

“If the response of a species were to grieve for years
over the loss, or over a decision error that may have cost a loved one
their life, the species would not survive — it would be incapacitated.
In a balanced ecosystem, these traumatic events are regular but not
chronic — most species spend most of their time in the joyous
activities of eating, exploring, mating, playing, sleeping, and sensing
the world around them. Their failure to grieve, at least for long, is
in my opinion due not to their small brains but to the fact that there
is too much joy and wonder in the world to waste much time grieving
over what happened or might have happened. It’s Darwinian — it happens
that way because it works, it optimizes the healthy survival of the
species.”

Reading “How to Save the World” really makes me think. Again
he is able to put into worlds some of the deep feelings that I have but
don’t quite understand enough to be able to put into words. The
pain I sometimes feel about what the girls have lost, the idea that
there are things they will never be able to do because of the loss of
Cindy, These are regrets for things that haven’t happened.

We went to see a play.