KattyWilly

There is nothing like cutting the lawn with a brand spanking new lawn
mower. My old mower bit the dust last weekend and I had to go out
today and gind a new one. I had a hard time at a few stores
finding any staff to help me out. There are quite a few folks
shopping for Hurricane Jeanne and not so many trying to get lawn mowers
🙂 Chelsey was out taking some photos of the Spider Lily blooms
and caught me with my new toy.

Brent has released MarsEdit and this is my first try at posting.

“So,
for one moment, I’d like you to perform an exercise in selective
attention. Forget every other consideration ó even though they’re fair
and important considerations ó and see if you can acknowledge that a
world in which everyone has free access to every work of creativity in
the world is a better world. Imagine your children could listen to any
song ever created anywhere. What a blessing that would be!”

YES! YES! YES!  I imagine this all the time.  I’ve even tried
to do it before.  I hope that some day it will happen.

I think I’d like to meet David some day.

“You were supposed to grow old. Reckless, unfrightened, and old,
you were supposed to grow old.

Return
OK GO

Today’s soundtrack at work is “The Beyondness of Things” by John Barry.  The Dunedin Library
has a really nice collection of music.  It is so nice that our
Libraries can still “share” music and I am able to “borrow” music that
I could never afford to buy just to see if I like it. I have found
quite a few new things that I would never have discovered without being
able to listen to this “shared” music.

Adam’s quote of the day made me think.

1 John 4:18:
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has
to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

I feel like I have experienced that kind of love.  I was able to
overcome most all of my fears because no matter what happened she would
always be there for me and I for her.  But what happens when you
have that kind of love and it is taken away.  Taken away. 
Not lost, not given up, but taken away.  Does the fear
return.  Is there a sense of punishment?  Does fear
return?  Yes.

Taken away.  People sometimes tell me that I’m too easy on the
girls.  Implying that I somehow am spoiling them by not making
them do more around the house.  The only response I can come up
with always includes the statement, “after all that has been taken away
from them, how can I take anything else away from them?”  It has
to do with the need I feel to do everything I can to make their life as
happy and loving and full as I can.  Telling them they can’t do
something or go somewhere feels like I’m taking something away from
them.  I can’t take anything more from them they have already lost
so much.  Sometimes there is fear in love.

Can’t wait to start Rockin’.  Graham takes some great photographs.  I hope some day to do what he does.  Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t capture what people look like, he captures what they are feeling.

Today I spent some time at the Lowes waiting for plywood that never came.

Tonight was the first Jr. Cotillion for Chelsey.  And I have some photos.

I haven’t talked about the tragedy in Russia.  I find it hard to
even think about it.  And there was this hurricane thing going on
around here.

Today Doc pointed me over here
which made me realize that like my attempts to deal with my loss and
trying to be happy again, that there may be a way for me to respond to
the bad things in the world by responding in a way that contributes to
the good in the world and allow me to focus my energies not on the bad
things I can’t control and instead on the good things I can.

When the newspaper reporter called me after the accident, and again
after the civil traffic court appearance by the man who killed
Cindy,  I felt as if he was looking for my feelings towards this
man.  I responded then that I couldn’t focus any of my energy on
him that I had to focus on raising my daughters and doing everything I
can for them.  Parhaps I can do that with things like the horrors
of what happened in Russia too.